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Joke of the Day

"So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?"

"If you post a handstand photo of yourself at the beach in Uggs you're automatically entered into an essay contest on why you love your Jetta"

"You can't get AIDS from a toilet seat unless you sit down before the other guy gets up"

"What do you call a discount sauna? A steam sale"

"What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch? Bernie Sanders"

"Whoa. There are books on TAPE? Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives."

"I put the Christmas tree in our bed. Hopefully my wife will be okay with us having a treesome."

"Ms Piggy... http://imgur.com/BtVKY"

"Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops? It makes you look hard"

"As an unemotional person, I never thought pieces of papers would make me cry until I started to pay my bills"