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Joke of the Day

"If you post a handstand photo of yourself at the beach in Uggs you're automatically entered into an essay contest on why you love your Jetta"

"I had this great joke about Thor... but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key."

"The grass is always greener When its not my weed"

"Mmmmm.... delicious!"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Chris Christie? When things go south,Trump burns bridges, Christie just shuts them down."

"When someone says something was made with ""love"" what exactly does that mean? Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake?"

"Do you know the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.."

"What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs? a bell."

"I was having sex with a hot girl yesterday and she kept yelling someone else's name. Do you know anybody by the name of ""rape""?"

"When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail... When my mate turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40 A month later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2"