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Joke of the Day

"What does the quantum duck say? Quark Quark"

"Quoting famous dead people on the internet is stupid. ~Confucius"

"What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae bra."

"I'm not racist I have a black president."

"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."

"People who comment alternate punchlines can just fuck off like do they not realize how not funny it sounds after reading the original joke (okay come at me)"

"Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOze"

"Two fish were in a tank. One says, you man the main cannon, I'll drive."

"I replaced the bulb in my refrigerator with a tanning bulb... that way if I ever get fat, at least I'll have nice color."

"I am in my truest form when the food comes at a restaurant and I side-eye plates, suspicious that everyone got more fries than I did."