199069

Joke of the Day

"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."

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"My voicemail message is just me sighing for 20 minutes."
"How many copies can you make of a page without a copying machine? Xero."
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home? A taxi"
"Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola? The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there."
"What's the difference between French women and an NHL hocky team? The hockey team showers after 3 periods."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care."
"[At Fancy Restaurant] Her: I'll have the oxtail topped with quail egg. Him: Gimme a steak. Her: *glares Him: Uhh, topped with a Cadbury?"
"15 is the age where you either look 11 or like 25"
"""LBJ"" was a president... Not a Spanish term for Hump Day activities."