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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the Titanic and I have in common? Your mom hasn't gone down on either of us."

"Why didn't the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent."

"My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them."

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, ""Can I park here?"" ... ... ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"What do you get when you sit under a cow? A Pat on the head"

"I was in an AWESOME undercover band once No one was sure if we were The Police."

"Only God can judge me. *gets hit by lightning*"

"Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits till you're 13 to come on your face."

"[Dollar Store Interview] ""What are your qualifications?"" [Slides over a dollar] ""Cashier job is yours"" [Slides $2] ""Welcome to Management"""