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Joke of the Day

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, ""Can I park here?"" ... ... ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure."

"I eat slowly, so I can't ever live in Moscow. Everyone's Russian there."

"So, we're doing race jokes: What do you call it when 5 white people have sex? A family reunion"

"I like the term ""making a name for yourself"" It implies your parents were wrong."

"Light a man a fire... You'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life"

"If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries."

"My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats That's nuts, I told him"

"Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do... I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything."