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Joke of the Day

"Robin Williams dead. Police suspect arson, but I Doubtfire."

"I used to think maths was useless but then one day I realised that decimals had a point"

"So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . . If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine."

"Raising my kids is hard. I can barely get the fat one off the ground."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"There are going to be a lot of drunk mosquitos tonight."

"If you're still undecided on a certain tattoo, try it out first on your baby."

"How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook? With his EyePhone"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...with extra large cups."

"New horizons takes picture of Pluto. What does Pluto say? ""ewww delete it"""