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Joke of the Day

"If you're still undecided on a certain tattoo, try it out first on your baby."

"A slut's prayer: As I lay down with this creep, I pray he sticks it in real deep, If he comes before I do, I'll have to f*ck his best friend too."

"I used to go to the physician just like you, but then I took an hammer to the knee."

"I'm bad at Math. The equation 2n+2n is 4n to me."

"I was thinking about making a chemistry joke But all the good ones argon."

"I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, ""That's a little condescending."""

"The difference between Christian wives and Jewish wives? Christian wives have fake jewelry and real orgasms."

"Going out later today to apply for a third job so I can afford to pay for the gas to drive to my other two jobs."

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"Return policy: ""If for any reason you are not satisfied..."" Ok, I'm not satisfied because dwarves and rockets."