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Joke of the Day
"Raising my kids is hard. I can barely get the fat one off the ground."
Next Joke
"I told my waiter, ""There's a fly in my soup!"" He said, ""It's possible, the cook used to be a tailor."""
"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."
"Texting drivers running over texting pedestrians: a modern day zombie apocalypse."
"A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird."
"If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not."
"What do you call imitation Vietnamese noodle soup? Faux."
"A Mexian magician is proffering on stage... He says ""On the count of 3 i will disappear."" Uno. Dos. *POOF * He disappears without a trace."
"discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition."
"How did Godzilla get the job opportunity? Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall."