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Joke of the Day

"Two men just got away with the largest Viagra heist in history. Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals."

"What do boobs and Christmas trees have in common? When you see really nice ones, you have to ask if they are real or fake."

"What do you call an egoistical sea animal? Selfish"

"Damn autocorrect... It's always making me say things I didn't Nintendo"

"Why dont you need birth controls when having sex with British boys? They are the earliest to pull out of eu."

"I received a lighter as a gift from my gf and it broke after a single use. I told her that there was a spark missing in our relationship. Edit: Spelling. Any Improvements to this joke appreciated."

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me."

"How does an ant put on a tie? With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke."

"Did you hear that scientists recently discovered a new state of matter? Now there are four! Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who was late to dinner? Yeah, he got the cold shoulder."