191969

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that scientists recently discovered a new state of matter? Now there are four! Solid, liquid, gas, and black lives."

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"Something I don't think we're doing nearly enough of as a society is building giant mysterious structures to confuse future archaeologists"
"What PC does Adele use? A Dell."
"How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go swimming?"
"Bears spend a bunch of time getting fat, sleep for a few months and then wake up skinny. Being a human is terrible."
"The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO. While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together."
"What did the fucking zombie say? Crack whores."
"9 out of 10 dentists recommend crest toothpaste... ...the 10th is in still in hiding for paying $50,000 for the right to murder a lion in Africa."
"How much alcohol does it take to get a black person drunk? About three fifths."
"""Daddy,"" a little girl asked her father, ""do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "" ""No, sweetheart,"" he answered. ""Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"""