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Joke of the Day

"How does an ant put on a tie? With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke."

Next Joke
 
"I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work."
"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."
"Coffee- LET'S DO THIS SHIT Weed- Don't be ridiculous"
"A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's dick."
"If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave"
"Two mods and TheG18 walk into a bar... [dongered]"
"I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight... The people who live above me are furious."
"flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign [guy next to me is still murdering someone] me: um excuse me"
"Spoiler alert: 2013 sucks too."