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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an egoistical sea animal? Selfish"
Next Joke
"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre."
"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"
"Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left"
"[At the job interview] ""Why did you leave your last job?"" ""They took a vote."""
"What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."
"I'm not going to let my kids listen to symphonies and big bands... too much sax and violins"
"I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I'd try my best to take that thing home."
"I miss you like an idiot misses the point."
"Every time a woman takes off something she looks better, but every time a man takes off something he looks worse."