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Joke of the Day

"Survival tip: If a clown starts making a balloon chainsaw, run like hell."

"Mary's doctor told her she was allergic to latex ""Oh no, I'm so fucked!"" She responded, shocked at the news ""I'm afraid not."" said the doctor as he left with a grin."

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5"

"Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat."

"""I just can't help myself!"" paramedic on his deathbed"

"Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time."

"I realize that I'm obviously not learning from my mistakes....I still get up every morning and go to work."

"Me to my toddler: Listen up, small human. Here are some farm animal sounds you should learn to prepare you to climb the corporate ladder."

"why did russia execute its jeopardy winner? he knew too much"

"My friend asked me what I thought about internet message boards. I said, I'm all forum."