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Joke of the Day

"Why was the lumberjack executed? He committed treeson."

"The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson."

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are running for president... Well, look on the bright side, Dick Cheney is not president."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"What do bears in Mexico eat? The same shit as all the other bears. What? Were you expecting a pun?"

"what is the funniest number? 69, cuz its also the name of a sex move."

"I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome. Any takers? Edit: This is a dumb joke..."

"Why didn't the bicycle cross the road? ...he was two-tired..."

"The doctor gave me 4 months to live. So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."