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Joke of the Day

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"How do you tell the difference between an adult film star and a psychiatrist? Ask them to pronounce the word analyzed."

"I spilled spot-remover on my dog... ...and now he's gone. :("

"What's the difference between a strip club and a circus? A circus is full of cunning stunts."

"I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app... When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed."

"Why couldn't the rapist go to the bathroom? The door read ""Gentlemen."""

"Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid, I was petrified."

"Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate."

"Burnt ma Hawaiian pizza today Shoulda cooked it on aloha temperature"

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."