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Joke of the Day

"I need a volunteer to test Stockholm syndrome. Any takers? Edit: This is a dumb joke..."

"A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble."

"Remember that time I got drunk... Yeah me neither."

"What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower? Brainwashed."

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"

"Im not sexist... Because thats wrong and being wrong is for women"

"What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"

"Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President... It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power..."

"I only date black girls... because I hate meeting fathers."