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Joke of the Day

"Jurassic Park, but all of the raptors are played by Jim Carrey."

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"What do you someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!"
"Did you hear about the Candy Factory they opened on the East Coast? It closed after a month... they couldn't find any good wrappers."
"How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Flip it over"
"What do radical feminists say when they are about to explode? **RAPE!!!**"
"The tragedy of Jack & Jill is they went *up* the hill to get water. You get water from the *bottom* of a hill. Stupidity killed them."
"Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon."
"I just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just asking it the wrong questions."
"A clown tries to get insurance for his company, but the agent says Agent: Sorry, we don't do any funny business here."
"A man goes to a doctor with a large, dirty toad on his head. The doctor asks, ""What seems to be the problem?"" And the toad replies, ""Hey, Doc, there's something stuck to my ass."""