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Joke of the Day

"If you had to choose between having a love life, or a lifetime supply of pudding: How much chocolate pudding would you eat that first day?"

"Deaf people have no idea why the rest of us think farts are funny."

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.... I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row now."

"WTH? My neighbors say they don't like to spoon!? Even after I stopped sleeping in the nude. And introduced myself. Old people! Amirite?"

"Gripe Sheet Fun - A Must read"

"Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full."

"Interviewer: So when did you decide you wanted to be a sumo wrestler? Me: When someone tried to get me onto the dancefloor at a wedding."

"What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher? ""I can't, I'm not a conductor."" Pffffffhehewheheheheheh."

"The IBS drug commercial that mentions ""urgent diarrhea"" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had."

"My friend's grandpa who was suffering from Alzheimer's passed away recently He forgot he was alive"