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Joke of the Day

"My friend's grandpa who was suffering from Alzheimer's passed away recently He forgot he was alive"

"Never feel like you're too small to make a difference. After all, a tiny raisin has the ability to RUIN EVERYTHING ITS BAKED IN."

"I went to a self defence class last night and the instructor told me to ""take him by surprise and attack him"". So when I saw him in Walmart the next day I threw a can of beans at his head."

"What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They both get clubbed by Norwegians..."

"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"

"I never make mistakes. . . I thought I did once; but I was wrong."

"Do you have a hole in your sock? ""No ..."" *(looks at sock)* . . How'd you get your foot in it?"

"You can tell the gender of an Ant by putting it in water If it sinks: Girl Ant If it floats: Boy ant"

"I went shopping for some lingerie for my wife. I asked the shop keep if the panties were satin. He said ""No, they're brand new""."

"What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch???? Names"