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Joke of the Day

"*appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* ""Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!"" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*"

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"A man goes to the Doctor. A man makes an appointment with his Doctor. Says ""Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm"" The Doctor says ""What are you taking for it?"" Man replies ""Pollen"""

"why didnt natalie wood take a shower on the boat? she wanted to wash up on shore..."

"I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink."

"Build a man a fire and he will be warm for an hour... ...But set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"Apparently ""you have great tweets"" sounds a lot like ""you have great tits"" in a crowded bar."

"You guys like jokes I hear, I got a joke for you. Women's rights...."

"Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree? A: Because of its bark."