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Joke of the Day

"Apparently ""you have great tweets"" sounds a lot like ""you have great tits"" in a crowded bar."

"Nothing worse than taking a run and then having to take a shit when your a mile & a half away from ur bathroom. I almost shitted in a bush"

"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."

"I once knew a Johnny Glasscock in elementary school... You could always see him coming..."

"With all the different ways to sat the same jokes, how would you know it's not a repost? You just wait for the comments to link you up."

"One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday eight hours."

"I dont have sex on the first date unless it's an option"

"What did Caesar say when playing battleship? A2 Brute."

"No hedgehogs were harmed in the making of this short movie 'Ripping the Legs Off a Hedgehog So He Looks Like a Pinecone'."

"What did the Buddhist Monk say to the Hot Dog Vendor? ""Make me one with everything"" (assuming he would be able to talk in the first place)"