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Joke of the Day

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?"

"the (please) fresh (lead) deli (me) sandwiches (into) at (woods) Walgreens (and) are (shoot) actually (me) pretty (in) good (head)"

"A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says ""fuck you, you wont bring it back"""

"Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes? It had the spoon, but not the 4k."

"The day we decided such footwear would be called ""flip-flops"" was not our most creative moment."

"What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future? Rocket Farts."

"I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades."

"Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder."

"ABC has cancelled ""Ugly Betty"". It will be replaced by ""Fuckable Jennifer""."

"What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again!"