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Joke of the Day
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten."
Next Joke
"[feeding baby Malaysian food] ""Here comes the plane"" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*"
"Instead of yelling at jerk who cuts u off in traffic just chuck a realistic rubber snake in their window & yell ""have at him Damian!"""
"In case you were wondering, Taco Bell offers free wi-fi. Don't bother asking for the password, because it's totally ""Cornhole Explosion""."
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... ... It's impossible to put down"
"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dre"
"Helicopter flying above my apartment. I wanna go out in my hoodie and start running like a thief."
"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate pizza before it was cool."
"Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque."