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Joke of the Day

"If video games actually influenced behaviour you'd see a lot more people accidentally jumping in the air when they try to open doors."

"Why did only 2 Mexicans cross the border? The sign said ""No Trespassing"" (TRES-Passing)"

"Why did the poor dog chase his tail? Because he was trying to make both ends meet."

"who called it carrying your cell phone in your front pocket instead of hot signals in your area"

"TRAINER: you know what they say ME: no pain! lo mein! TRAINER: it's ""no gain"" ME: (eating Chinese food) i like this better"

"""HIV"" is trending above ""Grammys"" because AIDS is better than the ""music"" that was nominated."

"The ""oops, wrong hole"" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend."

"A group of prostitutes play WoW. I heard that they call themselves the whore'd."

"Me: this is bullshit. conditioner and shampoo in one? impossible Walmart employee who I have in a headlock: sir I didn't make the shampoo"

"What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say ""hi"" to you at the liquor store"