65396

Joke of the Day

"Me: this is bullshit. conditioner and shampoo in one? impossible Walmart employee who I have in a headlock: sir I didn't make the shampoo"

"I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up."

"""My fellow Americans-"" Barack ""we are working tirelessly-"" Sir ""to make sure-"" Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset"

"Sorry about the concussion Steve but it wouldn't be called a ""trust fall"" if it worked every time."

"There are certain people who assume that I'm intelligent. These people aren't aware that I cannot tear off perforated paper."

"Why are men better swimmers than women they are part sperm"

"Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?"

"What happens on 420 in Saudi Arabia A lot of people get stoned"

"The last US election had a candidate called Mitt, a devout Catholic and a candidate called Newt, a serial adulterer. One was against same sex marriage and the other was against same marriage sex."

"How many disappointments can you fit into a van? I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house."