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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman who won't do what she's told."

"Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?"

"Did you hear the one about Jonestown? I'd tell it to you, but the punch line's too long."

"The worst thing about doggie style is you can both see your kid come into the room."

"What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...? A fork"

"Eating a rock is actually good for you. It's full of minerals!"

"Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!"

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"What do you call an escape artist dog? Basset Houndini"

"The man who worte the Hokey Pokey died. They had a hard time placing him in the coffin. They put his left leg in, but as soon as they started trying to put the right leg in they had problems."