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Joke of the Day

"Mimes give each other the unsilent treatment."

"Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear."

"What do you call 75 year old John Cena? John Cenile."

"Eyecare Clerk: And for $79 we can coat your lenses with anti-glare. Me: Is that intended to benefit me or the people I glare at?"

"Atoms are Liars... They make up everything."

"I'm glad Lassie wasnt my dog. I just want to watch TV, I don't want to be constantly rescuing people."

"What do you call a Phillipino contortions? A manilla folder"

"What's the difference between a personal trainer and a bully? None, they still take your money after beating you up. Edit: sorry for the typo."

"I was watching Jersey Shore the other day when I thought... I didn't know I had animal planet."

"I'm off to pick the kids up from school. Before their parents get there."