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Joke of the Day

"if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like ""kale satan"" and ""i love the dark gourd"" and nobody would stop me"

"Don't try to fix your computer the same day you quit drinking. You. Will. Relapse."

"Chuck Norris... ...played a used game once... on the Xbox One."

"What's the difference between a drunk Morse code operator and a lesbian? One's a lit clicker and the other is a clit licker."

"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."

"What do you call a female clown? April Fools"

"How can you open a banana? With a monkey!"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its arsehole."

"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"

"How do you spot a cheetah in the wild? You don't, they're already spotted!"