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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper? ""What?"" ""You aren't coming to my house"""

"What are the two fastest things in the world? Second fastest: your butthole snapping shut. Fastest: That little drop of water..."

"What do you say when Al Gore writes computer code? He's writing an Algorithm!"

"The Enola Gay Made rice crispies long before Kellogg's"

"What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife? You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while."

"What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with? Little Caesar's"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!"

"Pessimist: This can't get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!"

"My mom just replied to my text with ""K."" Whooooaaa busy lady, is there some emergency over on FarmVille?"

"How do you end a relationship fight? You break it up."