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Joke of the Day
"Pessimist: This can't get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!"
Next Joke
"New research suggests that humans are double-minded... No they're not!"
"Waitress dad jokes When waitress comes to the table ask if she takes orders ,""to go""? If she says yes respond with, ""Great! Get your purse we're leaving."""
"So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious"""
"People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016 He might, but for now he's just Biden his time."
"What comes up but never comes down? Russian Cosmonauts"
"Did anyone else go into Monsters, Inc. thinking it was going to be a movie about a really big sink?"
"I thought I saw an original joke today Turns out I just misreddit"
"How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?? Slow down and grab some lube!!"
"My phone corrects ""haha"" to ""hahaha"", so all my friends think they're 50% funnier than they actually are."