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Joke of the Day

"What did the scat fetishist say to his wife before divorcing her? I've had enough of your shit."

"Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4days. What's my total? Cashier: Your total is 756 quarters & 8 dimes. #cashierlife"

"Dick van Dyke's surgery Welcome to Dick van Dyke's surgery! I'm afraid it's bad news. You've got supercalifragilisticextreme-halitosis."

"What is a gay man's favorite vacation site? He loves to go to Bankok."

"Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you? Because he doesn't know the time of day."

"I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail...."

"My ex-wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! Ya see its funny because marriage is terrible."

"Why is it called a shampoo.. If it smells good?"

"How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from? Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald."

"Today is awesome. I got pulled over by a cop on a bike. He even asked if I knew why he was ""pulling me over"" You need a ride! Duh"