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Joke of the Day

"I once went to an open air Queen concert. It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening..."

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"Why don't midgets like barbecues? because the steaks are too high."
"What is the difference between Kanye West and God? God doesn't think that He's Kanye."
"My girlfriend is quite pessimistic about our sex life, but I'm a vagina half full kind of guy."
"Me: can I have a few extra days off over Christmas Boss: it's May Me: sorry, may I have a few extra days off over Christmas"
"Earth is huge. There must be like 9 or 10 different countries on this thing."
"What do you call safe sex with a horse Trojan"
"Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands."
"My relationship with my cat is like that of a married couple. Basically we fight a lot and never have sex."
"My friend once asked me if I would have sex with a christian girl without a condom. It's okay, God will protect us."