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Joke of the Day

"Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident."

"So my wife just hit me with a ""mom joke"". She says, ""oh look, there's whiteout conditions in Washington D.C. I bet Will Smith is gonna boycott""!"

"Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me."

"How many friend-Zoned Guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed off when it wont screw."

"There's no problem you can't solve with a great night of dancing. Except for a broken foot. Then you should see a doctor."

"Argon walks into a bar. And the bartender says, ""We don't serve Noble Gasses in here!"" Argon does not react."

"What's a toads favorite drink? Croaka-cola"

"I had a near-life experience...I nearly quit Facebook."

"After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies"

"Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boo-Bees"