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Joke of the Day

"Me: this is bullshit. conditioner and shampoo in one? impossible Walmart employee who I have in a headlock: sir I didn't make the shampoo"

"When I get a lot of Myspace requests my fax machine goes crazy."

"How do you take the letter ""f"" out of the word ""way""? There is no f in way"

"INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?"

"Why did the zombie get a gym membership? Gaaaainsss"

"I don't say ""YO MAMA"" jokes anymore... Cause they're all old and used up, just like your mom"

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut? About two weeks."

"It only took three years but I finally finished eating that box of taquitos from Costco."

"I read in the 1930's teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn't even want to party."