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Joke of the Day
"""I came, I saw, I left."" - Premature ejaculator after visiting a porno shop."
Next Joke
"So ISIS attacker hid IEDs inside his rectum and detonated it.. What was the last thing that went through this terrorist mind? His ass of course lol. P.s. This is from a true story"
"What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie"
"It's interesting how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."
"How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon? Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!"
"A desert sorceress was eating a PB&J in the Sahara when she was buried in a sandstorm A sand witch eating a sandwich was sandwiched by sand"
"Me: Hey, do you want to go buy some- Wife: YES!"
"Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks."
"People in Sweden keep telling me how great it is living there... But I think it's just Stockholm Syndrome."
"Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A? AA, Eh"