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Joke of the Day

"Every time the wife pisses me off, I hollow out her tampons and pack them with strawberry Pop Rocks."

"Why do guys think to much They have two heads"

"Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them."

"DATING TIP: On a bad dinner date? Bite your tongue until your mouth fills with blood, say ""I must be allergic to this bread"" and then leave."

"Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!"

"A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them. He names the weapon ""Ambu-lance"""

"How long does it take an Ethiopian Women to take a shit? 9 Months."

"My dumb friend told me the 'pull my finger' joke ends w you farting, NOT shitting your pants. He's wrong, right? RIGHT???"

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a depressed realist."

"How do you confuse an AP student? Make the first 21 questions all be the answer C."