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Joke of the Day

"It's interesting how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."

"What's common between a bungee jumper and a hooker? If the rubber snaps, you're screwed"

"I told the dog it is weird that he follows me into the bathroom all the time. So he walked out. Now I'm weirded out that he speaks English."

"What do you call an easter extremist? The middle easter bunny"

"We come into this world with nothing... Then we die and our wife gets everything. ;-.>"

"Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop"

"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."

"The TSA agent who runs the x-ray machine just told me ""Nice penis."" Thank you, Al Qaeda!"

"Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states."

"Did you hear that Darth Vader made some toast? It was a little on the dark side."