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Joke of the Day

"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."

"What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ? The bombshell !"

"Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy? It lifts spirits"

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"How do you disappoint a pack of redditors? [removed]"

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"God: ""Adam looks kind of lonely down there. What should I do?"" Frog: ""ribbit"" God: ""haha, alright man"""

"Did you hear about the sarcastic washing machine? It takes the piss out of your knickers."

"My car has a GPS, but when I get lost I still usually just end up busting out a globe"

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."