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Joke of the Day

"Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy? It lifts spirits"

"You can tell if your gold chain is fake... ...by leaving the room and listening to see if it talks crap about you to other jewelry."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? No one's ever paid to have a lentil on their face."

"What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp."

"Someone is watching you... And his name is John Seenya!"

"Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception? There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!"

"Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle."

"A Priest And A Rabbi Are Sitting On A Park Bench Watching Kids Play... Priest - ""Hey rabbi, want to help me screw these kids?"" Rabbi-""Screw them out of what?"""

"I was worried about the price of bread in India But then I realized it's a naan issue."

"My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out."