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Joke of the Day

"My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream."

"What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips."

"For some reason, the Disney movie ""101 Dalmatians"" was much more popular than it's sequel ""Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."""

"I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn't find a close enough parking spot so I left."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"What's the difference between a cult and a religion ? About a couple thousand years."

"when it snows are snowmen ever like holy shit it's my flesh"

"I think my gran has Alzheimer's. She called me Dave earlier when my name is Carson. Either that or she's thinking of someone else while we're having sex."

"What do you call a boner at an early morning funeral? Mourning wood"

"When is an aardvark jumpy? When he's got ants in his pants!"