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Joke of the Day

"With virtually no power, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility."

"Just pulled up next to a car identical to mine & accidentally made eye contact with the driver. I think that means we have to race on green."

"Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.? Because Michael Douglas starred in ""Double Jeopardy"" in 1999."

"Did you hear they're doing a remake of Dumb and Dumber? It's on tonight on every major network, tonight at 9."

"I used to watch the Olympics on TV as a child and dream of growing up and also watching the Olympics on TV but on a better TV."

"I'm not saying he is out of shape, but... ... he calls the gym 'James' because he doesn't feel familiar enough for nicknames."

"Q: What bone will a dog never eat? A: A trombone."

"I recently became a father Is a weird way to say I just got a girlfriend and she started calling me ""Daddy."""

"Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?? I guess it's too grue-some."

"Where does Noah keep his bees? In the Ark Hives"