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Joke of the Day

"If I ever have to choose who dies, my mother or my dog, Toby's gotta go... ...straight for the throat"

"What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea ? A catameringue !"

"My First reddit Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store? Because he was looking for a tight seal!"

"A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -"

"What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking? Vaporeon"

"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"

"The most embarrassing thing for a kangaroo is accidently hopping into another kangaroo's pouch who then hops into a 3rd kangaroo's pouch"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? ...it doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyways."

"Girlfriend went to the neurologist to get a brain scan yesterday. Nothing showed up."

"I went to a store that carried only three items It was an inconvenience store"