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Joke of the Day

"What is my dentist's favorite indie band? Fluoride and the Machine"

"What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common? They both have early termination fees"

"Recursion is a curious concept because it can refer to sentences, such as this one, that refer to curious concepts."

"This morning I called work and told them I came down sick with Anal Glaucoma. And I couldn't see my ass making it in to work today."

"I have a friend whose fetish is cashews. He's fucking nuts."

"Jared Fogle gets sentenced 15 1/2 years in prison At least he'll still be able to enjoy footlongs"

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed, Does that make you an iWitness?"

"How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber? Ask them to say the word 'unionized'."

"Some people think stalking is wrong... I call those people cops"

"'Don't say foreskin instead of four score don't say foreskin instead of four score you GOT this Abe' *AHEM* ""FORESKIN FUCK LEMME START OVER"""