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Joke of the Day

"Girlfriend went to the neurologist to get a brain scan yesterday. Nothing showed up."

"Want to see 45 years of wrinkles disappear in less than one minute? nsfw Rub my penis."

"Today, I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that..."

"What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way :("

"Just played the new Hillary Presidency Simulator I don't know why it's called Fallout 4 though."

"If Linkin Park was to describe photons: ""[...] But in the end, it isn't even matter."""

"BANG BANG! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it? A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself."

"With virtually no power, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility."

"[son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over"