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Joke of the Day

"TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?"

"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."

"Why didn't British explorers dig latrines? They had pith helmets."

"My wife and I have an agreement with our 7 year old daughter Don't wake us up early on the weekend and we won't abandon you in a mall"

"TIFU by bringing on the wrong player Oops, wrong sub Please^dont^hate^me"

"I lost my wife a year ago today. Sadly, within four days I won her back."

"Does anyone use question marks properly anymore."

"My girlfriend was dropping all these hints about tying the knot or taking the plunge... so I tied a rock around her ankle and pushed her off the pier. She hasn't called since..."

"My girlfriend used Vaseline on a handjob today. I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off."

"What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wine."