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Joke of the Day

"Why do Italian men grow moustaches? So they can look like their mothers."

"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."

"i want to create and sell action figures based around fathers. ""father figures"". First edition, ""dead beat dad"". BTW it's just an empty box."

"They say Kurt Cobain had two blue eyes.... one blew on to the wall, the other blew through the window"

"I casually mentioned to my cat that I've petted many animals in my time, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ""How many?"""

"People with chrons disease Really need to get their shit together."

"I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty."

"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a hobo on a bicycle? Attire."

"How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player? Ask them if they play league."

"Man, Helen Keller would have been fun to party with. She's always blacked out."