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Joke of the Day

"I casually mentioned to my cat that I've petted many animals in my time, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ""How many?"""

Next Joke
 
"Now that I'm an overweight, nearly middle aged man, I'm considering bulimia more and more But I don't have the stomach for it."
"Kobe was one of the best Lakers players of all time But Magic Johnson was definitely the most positive."
"Harry POTter? Hermione GANJer?HufflePUFF?? More like the sorcerer's STONED. Wake up, America, JK Rowling has a hidden agenda."
"I told my friend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high She looked surprised"
"I got offered a job at a kaleidoscope company. I'm looking into it."
"If bad Russian puns were worth a Nikolai would be rich."
"My sex life is like 9/11 No one wanted it."
"You do not count as a person if it's 75 degrees & you're wearing a wool beanie."
"How many SJWs does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S *NOT* FUNNY!"