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Joke of the Day

"As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"

"A hobo and a goat are hiking up a small mountain. Who is the hill-billy?"

"What's the difference between looking for a lost golf ball and Lady Godiva? Looking for a lost golf ball is a hunt on a course."

"How do the Chinese pick a name for their child? They throw a spoon down the stairs"

"Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life? He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise."

"On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics... On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics, even the pools are going green."

"Cat lovers Their pets also qualify for the obnoxious neighbor award."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves Carrying loads of sugar."

"Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico"

"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."