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Joke of the Day

"I always read my wife's Horoscope to see what kind of day I'M going to have."

Next Joke
 
"So they say 71 percent of tweets go unread. But I bet you all are reading this one. Cause this one's got Velociraptors. And they're awesome."
"What's the difference between Paul Walker and My Computer? I actually care when my computer crashes"
"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"". Sounds like a fair trade"
"Sodium and Hydrogen should be friends. NaH, sounds like a bad idea"
"If babies knew how shitty life gets they wouldn't be giggling so much. Ignorant little bastards."
"give us a pickup line related to your profession WITHOUT revealing your profession. we'll try to guess I might have posted in the wrong sub Reddit. let me know if we should move it!"
"What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? (NSFWish) Cuntswaylow"
"So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles... When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, It. all. happened. so. fast."
"Remember, when someone calls you mean... just tell them that you prefer the term average."